The Worst Watchdog.

Alright people, time to turn the tables and ask you for some advice. 

I have a dog (you know that by now, I'm sure). He is big. He is black. He barks a lot. Oh, and he has an under bite.

Perfect watchdog, right? Not quite. Just about a month ago, I moved into a new house. Here is how his watchdogging abilities have progressed...

First week: Every time I came home he was standing at the front door waiting for me. I'm convinced he spent the whole day on his doggy bed in the front room just waiting for me (and any unsuspecting strangers) to walk by.

Second week: My stove broke. My landlord comes over to fix it. Maverick puts up a good fight barking his little big, square head off, but when my landlord gets in, he pees on the floor in distress. Tough guy, eh?

Third week: He no longer waits by the front door for me, but instead is in the kitchen at the back door when I come home. I figure he is smart. He knows around 6pm when I get home, it's time to go outside. My dog is a genius. He is evolving.

Fourth week: I come home and the dog is nowhere to be found. I call for him, and he comes running up from the basement. Some watchdog I've got.

Monday: I decided to do a little test. I walked in the house and kept quiet. I didn't call for him or tell him I was home (you know, 'Hey honey, I'm home!'). He did not come upstairs. I walked down into the basement, still not saying a word. And guess what? He is just sitting there on the couch. Wagging his tail. Useless!

Wednesday: It was an overcast afternoon, so the house was pretty dark. Maverick comes up the stairs, and peeks around the corner, tiptoes down the hall (as possible as it is for a dog to tiptoe at least), and just stares at me. I say his name and he perks up and runs over. Um, excuse me? You thought I was a stranger and the best you could do is sneak up to me like that? Threatening. Very threatening.

I need some serious help! How do I make him into a better watchdog?