"So... How Are Things?"

I'm used to getting the "So.... how are things?" question at family gatherings and knowing that what they really mean / really want to know is whether or not I have a boyfriend.

But this weekend, that was taken to whole new level.

Well-meaning Aunt: So.... Are you seeing anybody?

Me: [Unapologetically] No.

Well-meaning Aunt: Oh, that's too bad. [Pats me on the shoulder.] It will happen for you someday.

Me: It's not bad at all. It's actually pretty great. I like to say that I'm seeing myself. I get to eat whatever I want, go wherever I want, watch whatever I want on TV.  I don't answer to anyone. I get to do whatever I want. It's pretty awesome.

Drops the mic.

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