Reality Check

It was easier in college. I was always in transition. I moved in and out every single semester during those 4 years. My schedule changed every semester. I met new people all the time. Walked different routes to class. Went to different bars. Things were changing all the time.

But how do you deal when your life isn't in transition? When you like your life the way it is. You like your job and where you live and who you spend your time with.

I like these streets. I like this route to work. I like my bathroom, my bedroom, my living room, my kitchen. I like this routine. I'm trying to cancel utilities and set up my mail forwarding and I just can't do it. I'm trying to pack and I just can't. I just want to lay in my bed - our bed - all day. Waiting for it to change. Waiting to wake up from this nightmare.

And the reality is I only have one night left in a house I was ready to spend years in, with someone I was ready to spend my life with.

My heart aches.

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