I dropped a dog off at HSMO tonight.

And I shouldn't be this bent out of shape about it. I know HSMO is great. I know she's a sweet, friendly dog and will probably find a home in no time.

But she trusted me.

She came running to me as I got out of my car after work. She came when I called 'here girl' and 'here pup' even though I didn't know her name. When I brought those treats out, I was her best friend. When I put that makeshift leash on her, she stayed right by my side and didn't pull one bit.

She jumped right into the car and sat nicely in the front seat the whole time. Didn't bark at passing dogs. Didn't panic.

And when we got to the 24 hr drop off at HSMO, she gleefully walked beside me. If only she knew...

She didn't want to go in the cage. She resisted. I didn't want to pick up an unfamiliar dog, so I begged, I pleaded with her. I called her sweetheart. And then, once she obeyed me and got up in the little cage, I shut the door behind her.

My heart broke as soon as I did it.

I stood there filling out the intake form (note to others - do this BEFORE you lock them up and spare yourself some heartache) and listened to her cry. Circle. Scratch at the door.

I know she'll find a good home. I know I couldn't take her right now. I know I did the right thing.

But it still hurts to think of how eagerly she looked at me in the car as I got lost trying to find my way to Macklind. It still hurts to think I betrayed her trust. It still hurts to think that while I'm laying here, cozy in bed with Maverick by my side, she's alone in that cage. And she's been there for hours.

It breaks my heart. And I can't tell if its me bring irrational and over emotional, or human.


Carlie said...

Aww that breaks my heart too, but you did the right thing. A friendly dog like that will find a home in no time. I feel like I get more emotional over animals than I do humans... is that messed up?? :)

Kristin said...

And hear I just read an article about friendly dogs not finding homes at shelters... I hope she does! So sad.

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